it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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