just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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