I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
