Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
