I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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