so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
