I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
