When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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