i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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