D3 body, D1 cock
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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