great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That accounts for only three of the penises
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
