So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
