how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
