Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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