I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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