she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
