Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
