I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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