Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
