I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
