Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
