I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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