Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
