I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
