worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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