I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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