I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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