Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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