Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
