Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Randomize
