We're facebook friends in real life
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize