If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She needs sedatives and a leash
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
