No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I didn't notice because vodka
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
