I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
