i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
