Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
