Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We left the knife in your bed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
