I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
