Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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