If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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