I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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