I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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