dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize