Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
