Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
