Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
