if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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