just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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