found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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