before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
