i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
