If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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