Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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