i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
