ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
