I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
