I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
