You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
