This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
