I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
