:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
