the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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