i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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