Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
