I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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