Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
