honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
