He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
