yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i need some magic done to my vagina
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
