Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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