I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
